Blogging and Vlogging

I started blogging way back 2013, because of this I overcome my depression. I love how I share my thoughts, my reviews and my point of view in life. But it saddens me to see that my favorite bloggers are not active on blogging anymore. I know, I am inconsistently updating my blog before but I’m trying to change it by writing one blog per day.

I haven’t checked my favorite bloggers for a while now but back then, when I checked their websites, I am glad that they are new updates. But, when I checked their websites now, there are not that active anymore.

I don’t mind that they are turning into vlogging because you see, it became a thing. Technology is always changing and I think it is time for youtube to be one of the top social networking platform if not the top but I think to abandon something you love first hand was a little bit disappointing.

I am not judging those bloggers who prioritized vlogging. I just want to share my sentiments about this. Seeing them active on youtube but not as active on their websites. I mean, some people still reads you know. They still prefer to read rather than watching.

I do vlog. I have videos on my youtube chanel but I don’t abandon the thing that helped me survived my darker days.

But I do understand them, editing videos is taking a lot of time than writing a blog. I thought that vlogging is much easier because you just have to be yourself and talk. But well, there’s this editing part which made my head ache all the time. I can write 2-3 blogs a day but I can’t edit 2-3 vlogs in one day.

Checking how your videos should turn out over and over again. Once you render your video, you will still watch it for the nth time just to be sure that your vlog was flawless. You have to download lots ofย  musics with no copyright because youtube might take your videos down. You have to find a good special effects for your vlog to be unique or to stand out from the rest.

You know, I understand them. But still, I wished that they won’t abandon their first love.

As for me, writing is my comfort zone so I won’t abandon it. You see, I write for myself, my readers (if there’s any) are just a bonus. The main reason why I made a blog is for me to cope up with my depression and insecurities.

I will continue writing as long as I’m enjoying it and as long as there’s someone who reads it (even if that someone is me ๐Ÿ™‚ )

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Here’s me when we were in Quezon which I will be posting here soon!

till next time

All the love,

Sidneyenyen

Unfriending 101

Unfriending a friend is really difficult. You’ll think of all your memories with that person. You see, for me there’s this unintentional unfriending and there’s this intentional unfriending.

Unintentional unfriending is when you and your friend grew apart. From the word unintentional meaning, you didn’t do it on purpose, it just happened.

Intentional unfriending is you have a reason why you unfriend him or her. I mean you do it on purpose. Be it because you two had a fight or what but you definitely knew that he or she will not be your friend anymore.

You see, life is really fair but the circumstances were not. Life is being complicated by you and by the people around you. In this toxic world, to not be stressed, you have to cut everything that could stress you. I’m not saying it is easy but I think it should be done.

You’ll know when you need a friend to unfriend. When she or he became toxic, if you gave him or her all the chances he or she could get but always blew the chance. You’re not on the same page anymore. When you think you’re the only one who treasures your friendship.

Friendship is a give and take relationship. It is more than being in a relationship (when a girl is always right even if she is wrong XD). When you think she did something bad to you, you’ll forgive him or her and like versa. It is not a give and give relationship where you’re the only one who is doing the giving part. Forgiving him or her, giving him or her your time, lending your ears, giving yourself. Friendship is not like that. Friendship should be a two-way relationship and not one.

Did someone unfriended me? Yes, and I’ve been living with it ever since. The what ifs. What if I shouldn’t be too sensitive? What if I became more forgiving, what if I didn’t get mad or what if I shouldn’t said what I said. All the what ifs but I always go down to: Is it worth it? The friendship, I mean? When every time you think of that person you only realized that you became too forgiving and too understanding when in fact it was your the only time you vent out? So yeah, the friendship isn’t worth regretting.

Did I unfriend a friend? Of course it happened to me. I’ve been doing it for a long time. I had been unfriending friends for half of my life. You can easily gain my trust, yeah, but I could only give a few chances for you to gain it back, and when I am done. I am really done. You may say that I’m ruthless, who could do that right? But when you were fed up with everything she or he did to you, you can’t say that you are ruthless. You just know your worth.

But don’t get me wrong okay? I am a very forgiving person. I don’t easily triggered by someone and I don’t easily cut someone’s out of my life. You really did something really bad to me for me to unfriend you.

I have friends who used me. I have friends who became my friends because of what I could give them. What I could do right? I really like to have friends way back elementary to high school. Since I’ve been bullied a lot and a lot of my classmates don’t like me, I get what I could get. And that really hurts me this days; thinking about my younger self, being treated like that. I wanna say to her that “Girl, it’s not worth it. You should know better.” But what could I do, I crave for something. Who wouldn’t want to be accepted right?

I became better when I was in college. I didn’t crave for someone’s attention, I realized that when a friend is really a friend to you, he or she will stay for who you are not for what you could give them.

I treasure all of my friends when I was in college. I still get in touch with them from time to time. We still go out, we still communicate. But then, life happens and people change. You may not know it right away but you will. People won’t stay the same as you know them before. But it will be your choice if you will stick to them or not.

I still have lots of friends, and I will forever be grateful for them. I believe that even if you lose some, you will also gain some. So it is up to you if you accept it or not.

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In time, I will lose friends but the girl beside me in this picture, she is my constant. No matter what happened she will remain as my constant.

So yeah, Sorry for this lengthy post. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I really like to write about this for quite some time now.

Till next time guys!

All the love,

Sidneyenyen

#randomthought

Part of growing up is the way your problems grow too. Not just having a nightmares when you’re a kid or petty things like why is your crush doesn’t like you or why do you have pimples. something like that. When we’re kids our world is not that big like what we have now. Kids have simple ideas in mind and are open minded while we have the ability to complicate things and close our minds if the ideas are contrast to what we know.

I hate to say this but can I still be a kid? When a mother’s hug is always the best thing in the world!!!! can I go back to the times when I cry because I have a wound in my knees? It’s pathetic that when I was a kid I want to grow fast, and when the time comes that I am an adult I wish that I can go back.

Life is fair, but the people are not. they make our life’s more complicated than it is. They make us suffer for the things that we’re not deserved. but how can we fight? how? I think the best way to fight is when to not care at all and let them see you succeed. that’s the best revenge of all! Let them realized that you are someone, someone who’s capable to fight, someone who will succeed even though they are the hindrance.

I know! because that’s what I’m planning to do! I’ll add them all in facebook! follow them on twitter and will make them realized that I am not a person that they can messed with. I will show them that sometimes you have to meet those people to make you realized that you have a better life than them.

Someone asked me if he can talked to me, I said I have no reason to talk to him. Why? because why give them a satisfaction of cleaning their conscience? Pampalubag loob na lang yun. Don’t give them a closure because it is more dramatic when you give them the closure they want when you are above them. or give them the closure they want when you have gucci shoes on your toes or you’re friends with the kardashians or with Paris Hilton. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am not giving the man what he wants. because I want him to remember that he’s the reason why I need to be successful and I will be back for him and I will kill him! hahahhahaha.

If we meet again, I just want to asked this simple question. “Are you happy?” I will not asked them how are them, because obviously they are fine! (ruining others lives) Just 3 words. And let that 3 words shake their lives!