Unfriending 101

Unfriending a friend is really difficult. You’ll think of all your memories with that person. You see, for me there’s this unintentional unfriending and there’s this intentional unfriending.

Unintentional unfriending is when you and your friend grew apart. From the word unintentional meaning, you didn’t do it on purpose, it just happened.

Intentional unfriending is you have a reason why you unfriend him or her. I mean you do it on purpose. Be it because you two had a fight or what but you definitely knew that he or she will not be your friend anymore.

You see, life is really fair but the circumstances were not. Life is being complicated by you and by the people around you. In this toxic world, to not be stressed, you have to cut everything that could stress you. I’m not saying it is easy but I think it should be done.

You’ll know when you need a friend to unfriend. When she or he became toxic, if you gave him or her all the chances he or she could get but always blew the chance. You’re not on the same page anymore. When you think you’re the only one who treasures your friendship.

Friendship is a give and take relationship. It is more than being in a relationship (when a girl is always right even if she is wrong XD). When you think she did something bad to you, you’ll forgive him or her and like versa. It is not a give and give relationship where you’re the only one who is doing the giving part. Forgiving him or her, giving him or her your time, lending your ears, giving yourself. Friendship is not like that. Friendship should be a two-way relationship and not one.

Did someone unfriended me? Yes, and I’ve been living with it ever since. The what ifs. What if I shouldn’t be too sensitive? What if I became more forgiving, what if I didn’t get mad or what if I shouldn’t said what I said. All the what ifs but I always go down to: Is it worth it? The friendship, I mean? When every time you think of that person you only realized that you became too forgiving and too understanding when in fact it was your the only time you vent out? So yeah, the friendship isn’t worth regretting.

Did I unfriend a friend? Of course it happened to me. I’ve been doing it for a long time. I had been unfriending friends for half of my life. You can easily gain my trust, yeah, but I could only give a few chances for you to gain it back, and when I am done. I am really done. You may say that I’m ruthless, who could do that right? But when you were fed up with everything she or he did to you, you can’t say that you are ruthless. You just know your worth.

But don’t get me wrong okay? I am a very forgiving person. I don’t easily triggered by someone and I don’t easily cut someone’s out of my life. You really did something really bad to me for me to unfriend you.

I have friends who used me. I have friends who became my friends because of what I could give them. What I could do right? I really like to have friends way back elementary to high school. Since I’ve been bullied a lot and a lot of my classmates don’t like me, I get what I could get. And that really hurts me this days; thinking about my younger self, being treated like that. I wanna say to her that “Girl, it’s not worth it. You should know better.” But what could I do, I crave for something. Who wouldn’t want to be accepted right?

I became better when I was in college. I didn’t crave for someone’s attention, I realized that when a friend is really a friend to you, he or she will stay for who you are not for what you could give them.

I treasure all of my friends when I was in college. I still get in touch with them from time to time. We still go out, we still communicate. But then, life happens and people change. You may not know it right away but you will. People won’t stay the same as you know them before. But it will be your choice if you will stick to them or not.

I still have lots of friends, and I will forever be grateful for them. I believe that even if you lose some, you will also gain some. So it is up to you if you accept it or not.

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In time, I will lose friends but the girl beside me in this picture, she is my constant. No matter what happened she will remain as my constant.

So yeah, Sorry for this lengthy post. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I really like to write about this for quite some time now.

Till next time guys!

All the love,

Sidneyenyen

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