I Miss You Everyday

I came from a very close family, I may not look like a papa’s girl but I do. I am also a mama’s girl, tita’s girl tito’s girl and a lola’s girl. My favorite lola died two years ago and it was a big loss not just to me but to my mother and her siblings.
I remember that during the first two days of her wake, I didn’t look at her inside the coffin and I didn’t finish any mass the entire wake, I don’t know but one thing is for sure, I want to leave the memory of my healthy and lovable Inang, not the lifeless Inang. plus I cried during the mass. it’s like accepting the fact that my Inang will not coming back and I hate that fact. 
I miss my lola every single day. She was the one who took care of me when I was a baby and because of that we had a bond that no one had. I used to lie down with her in her bed. Kiss her cheek and tell her jokes about her white hairs. How I really want her to see Keyn grows. 
I miss her everyday. Sometimes I asked her if she can visit me in my dreams but I guess she’s busy chitchatting with her friends and relatives. also, I know that she misses tatang (my lolo) so I’ll forgive her for that. But I do hope that she will visit me, I want to know if she’s doing okay and partying like an animal in heaven.
Last year as we celebrate her birthday, we visited her grave in Manila Memorial Park. It’s the first time I visited her after the funeral. I always want to visit her, a day after the funeral or on her 40th but I always make an excuse. I don’t know why but I may not be ready that time but time heals all wound indeed. We can laugh now. We can smile. Your babies are happy now lola knowing that you are fine.
The only thing that made me accept the death of my lola was that she’s fine now, happier and healthier.

So Inang, I hope that there’s an internet shop in heaven and someone taught you how to use a computer so you can read my post.

Inang, look at your babies. Yung mga inalagaan mo. Yung mga pinalaki at minahal mo. Surely we miss you everyday. but we know that you are with our Almighty God so there’s no room for regrets and sadness.

I say it to you many times before and I’ll say it to you again. I love you! I am so blessed to be your grandchild, You’re the lola that everyone should wished for. I thank you everyday that you give me a loving mother, she’s like you. Selfless and loving. I also thank you everyday for giving me the best titas and titos. Si mommy Linda na istrikto pero mahal kami. Si Tita Lee na hindi ko alam kung pano nagkasya ang sobrang laking puso sa liit niya. si Tita beck na laging game sa lahat. si Daddy na maloko pero mahal na mahal kami at si Tito Tony na naggaguide samin. Para ka ding hindi nawala kasi nakikita kita sa kanilang lahat. It’s like you gave them a piece of you and thank you for that.

I love you Inang, the only regret that I have until today is that I didn’t go home immediately when I received the news that you died. because of that I lost the chance to kiss you, na magmano, and to say goodbye. I hope you’ll forgive me for that Inang. I miss you everyday. We’ll see each other again and when that happens, I will kiss and hug you. We’ll party and I will teach you to dance. Mahal na mahal kita inang. Till next time

Hey guys. Sorry for being too emotional. I really want to post this so please forgive me 🙂 Meet my family!

Till next time, Ciao!

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